You Marry Their Family

When you marry someone, you marry their family. There’s no way around it.

Will you find yourself in the middle of in-law drama?

So many happy couples have the absolutely worst in-laws and it causes problems. I’m so happy to have in-laws who are wonderful. My mother and father-in-law are great people who have treated me like a son. My brothers-in-law have all accepted me and have been a lot of fun to hang around from time-to-time. My nieces and nephews are bright kids ranging from ages 12 – 25 who will grow up to be good people. My family also love my in-laws. In fact, my parents and The Mrs.’ parents have known each other for over 40 years and they get along very well.

But, I lucked out. So many others have situations that they “married into” that they are regretting now. I remember dating a lady back in the mid-90’s who had a brother with a drug problem. He was a user and a dealer (which is never a good combination). He would smoke his own product and get so high that he’d forget that he smoked it. Then he would accuse everyone in his household that they stole it from him. Her mom was an alcoholic who spent most of her days on the front porch. It was very sad and the end-result was a very short relationship with that girl (roughly six weeks). I didn’t want to subject myself to those type of people on a regular basis. Besides, I saw some of those bad habits in her as well. She was always looking for a fast buck and she wasn’t motivated to work. Despite the fact that she was cute and was really into me, I had to do what I felt was best long term.

You’ll have to accept the family for who they are.  All of them.

Over the years, I’ve met some people who have had similar, if not worse, situations, yet they chose to “ride out the storm.” Almost all of them ended up separated, divorced, or stuck in a volatile marriage. You may think that you’re marrying the person and not their family, but that’s not the case. Unless it’s a situation where you live far away from that family and have little contact, you could be subjecting yourself to inherited drama.

So, know your limits on what you can and cannot endure. Understand that your family may have to interact with your spouse’s family regularly. So, it’s important that they all be on the same maturity level and get along.

Your family may have to interact with them as well.  Perfect fit or not?

Is it absolutely necessary that your spouse’s family are perfect people? No. But, be prepared for a lot of gray hairs if everyone doesn’t mesh.

Hey, while you’re here, check out my guest posts that I’ve done over at Sonia’s site ( and Brandon’s site(

How Do You Protect Your Brand? (guest post) ~ LogAllot

Mommy, Look at the Penguins! (guest post) ~ My Own Private Idaho

For more posts like this, visit my blog site @ with over 250 posts and counting!



2 thoughts on “You Marry Their Family

  1. This has played a role in me ending relationships before. I know every family has their issues because none of us are perfect. However, there are certain traits that I do not want to deal with for a lifetime, whether it is with my man or his close family members.

  2. @ Tori – No doubt. I don't think people realize that you're joined at the hip with a nosy mother-in-law, a drunk father-in-law, mooching brother or a an irresponsible sister-in-law. All families may have someone that may not be compatible with a future spouse, but you have to be sure it's something you can handle.

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