Freak Me, Baby!

Okay, now that I have your attention… A question came up during my interview on Looking For My Spouse Radio last week:

Should a woman go “Jenna Jameson” on a man during their first sexual encounter?

Grab the camera, baby!

In other words, the first time she gets with a man, should she let herself go and use every move that she has? Or should she show him just a little bit more of her arsenal with each experience?

Now, there are two ways to look at this: if you decide to break out the lubes, gerbils, jumper cables and a tarp to spread on the floor, then it could cause a bit of anxiety with the man. Especially, if he’s old school.

Some of the traditional men think that the freakiness of a long-term sexual relationship should evolve over time. If a woman breaks out the whips and chains on sex night #1, then the average traditional man will think that she’s “been around the block” and will consider her as a “freak.” More than likely, this means that any chance of something long term will end after that evening. Is it fair? Maybe not, but it’s reality. Guys know that every woman they meet isn’t a virgin, but if they’re going to consider that woman for something long term, then they may not be comfortable with the fact that she appears to have tons of experience. Even if she’s only been with one or two guys before, a lady breaking out a camcorder and tripod the very first time could scare off the guy. Now, of course this doesn’t apply to one-night stands. Anything goes when there’s no future planned between the two.

Now, let’s look at this from another point of view. And this may be from a more modern view. Some guys don’t want a corpse in bed. They want a woman who is going to “bring it” like a $1,000 hooker. To them, if a woman is not holding anything back the first time they have sex, then she’s being true to herself. She’s allowing her passion to take over her actions and that lack of restraint could mean a lifetime of pleasure for him. In his mind, she is so comfortable with her sexuality and him, that she’s allowing her desires to take over the situation. So, even if she asks to be spanked, he’s more willing to oblige because he realizes and accepts the fact that whatever sex happened prior to him is simply “the past” and her only focus is “the present.”

No, not “whipped cream,” I said, “whip, scream.”

Besides, aren’t women allowed to enjoy sex, too? Should women be bound to traditional concepts and suppress what they’re really feeling just to maintain an image in bed? How stupid is that? Before my interview on LFMS Radio, I would have fallen into that traditional line of thinking. Hearing someone’s point of view on the topic actually made me reconsider. Back when I was single, a woman who got all Vivid Video with me would have scared me off. In fact, it did happen with one lady in particular. She did way too much way too soon (first date) and before I knew her last name, I knew how flexible she was. Fast forward to today, if I were in that same position (no pun intended), I’d be a little more understanding of what happened. Now, I still would not have considered this particular young lady as long term material because on that first date, I determined that she was a straight hood rat. LOL! But, I wouldn’t have let her appetite for destruction in the bedroom deter me.

So, fellas, let’s cut the women some slack. If they want to let it all hang out (literally), then don’t assume it’s because she took classes at the Bunny Ranch or something. Regardless of where her ideas originate, just be thankful that she wants to share them with you. Even if it’s not your thing, it would be unfair to pass judgement on her. She’s not a ho because she enjoys sex. She’s just a human being who likes sex. Women deal with too many double standards as it is. No one would say anything if a man asked a woman if he could “wheelbarrow” her against the headboard during their first time. That’s just a “man being a man,” right?

Well, when can a “woman just be a woman?” Don’t you want a woman who enjoys sex? Hello?

Forget tradition. I want her to do me like I owe her a mule.

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