Who Is Raising Who?

(blog post from ThankQ.me)

I once went to Majestic Burger in Maywood Mart for lunch. Majestic has one of the best turkey burgers in town. I place my order and sit down. Just as I’m getting ready to grab my cell and call The Mrs. to see what she’s up to, “trouble” walks up.

A kid roughly around three years old with his (I’m assuming) mother and grandmother. Now, before you say, “Oooh, Q, that is so mean to call that kid ‘trouble’. He’s just a kid!” Well, I’m not talking about the kid. I’m talking about the mother!

Before I elaborate, let me give a disclaimer: if the next sentence offends you because it describes you, then stop reading immediately because I’m not sugar-coating a thing.

There is nothing that bothers me more than a parent who negotiates with their child. (Negotiating parents exit here)

I realize that everyone has a different way of raising their children, but if you negotiate with your child to do basic things, then I really think the probability of the child being a spoiled brat as an adult is high.

Back to the story… Mom (for the story, we’ll call her Polly), holds the door for the grandmother (how about Anna for her?)and her son (Chase, which is an appropriate name for him). As the Anna walks in, Chase decides he wants to stay outside.

“Come on, Chase”, says Polly.

“No!” he screams as he kicks off one of his Cookie Monster Crocs.

“If you come inside, you can have your book” she sings as she dangles it in front of him like a carrot on a stick.

So, Chase decides to take his mom up on her offer and come inside for the Sesame Street book. Polly and Anna decide they want to sit in a booth, but Chase runs to the opposite side of the restaurant and sits at a table. Polly and Anna join him.

At this point, I’m still holding the cell phone to my head and watching in astonishment even though I’ve yet to dial a number. This three year old is controlling two adults with the greatest of ease! This is amazing!

Polly opens the book for Chase and begins to read to him. “No, it’s mine!” he screams as he snatches it from her hands.

“Chase, that’s not nice” Polly says.

Then I saw something that brought the entire room to an awkward silence… “Shut up!” Chase yelled at his mom as he swung and grazed Polly across the chin.

“Chase, it’s not nice to hit Mommy” Polly whispers as she changes three shades of red from embarrassment.

Ok, freeze it!

Okay, now I’m going to give the exact same scenario, but instead of Polly, Anna and Chase, it will be me, my mother and my grandmother…

“Q, that’s not nice”, my mom says.

“Shut up!” Q yelled at his mom as he swung and grazed his mom across the chin.

(ten seconds later)

“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?” asks the operator.

Okay, maybe I went a little too far, but you see my point. My mom wouldn’t have hospitalized me, but she never would’ve negotiated with me. She would’ve sternly given me consequences to my actions, that’s all. Consequences that would’ve been acted upon as soon as we returned home.

I don’t care what books you’ve read or what Dr. Phil has said, but lack of discipline equals an uncontrollable child. I’m not saying you have to spank the child (old schooler’s preference), but there has to be some sort of consequence for disobeying.

Also, you don’t reward a child for complying with your wishes because doing so will make them expect a reward every single time. It might seem fine at three years old to the average bad parent, but when that child gets older, he’s not going to want to do anything without a reward. If they won’t do it for you until they get a reward, then why would they do it for a teacher who’s offering nothing?

Negotiating with children gives them power. Too many parents want to be their kid’s friend instead of being their parent.

Do you know what you get when you give an uneducated, inexperienced person power? (How many of you thought “George W. Bush” just then?)



Carrying the Burden

Listen to the show here!

Tori D.

Creator of www.kinxnquirx.com, Tori D., joins me to discuss how stereotypes of a select few can actually burden people of the same race and/or gender who don’t fit the stereotypical mold.


I will also be joined by Haitian hottie, Bendiane, to give an opinion on the discussion from her point of view.

How can we prevent the negative actions of a select few from going mainstream?
– Not every black woman is a single mom with an attitude
– Not every black guy is an unemployed thug
– Not every white guy is a bad dancer
– Not every white girl is easy
– Not every gay person is interested in you
– And more!
Straight stereotype talk on #T2Q
Get a FB calendar reminder here.

Show #69


@SarayuRao for @NBCSNL!

Yes, #SarayuRao4SNL! You read the title correctly even though you may not know what it means. I campaigned for a public figure once before, but I don’t think that her reality show ever got the green light. ┬áThat was a bit of a stretch, I think. ┬áBut, I’m back with another public figure to help fulfill a dream of hers and it will get done… with your help, of course!

We’re sending Sarayu Rao to Saturday Night Live!
Actress Sarayu Rao

Now, I know some of you are either stuck trying to pronounce her name (Sah-rah-yoo) or you’re saying, “Sarayu who?”

Let me explain: I first came across her in the short-lived sitcom “Outsourced.” It was a very interesting and funny show that was set in India and taught me a lot about Hindu culture in just one season. Anyway, in the early parts of Season 1, Sarayu played the role of “Vimi,” the soon-to-be wife of one of the characters on the show. She was replaced by someone else later in the season and… wait… now that I think of it, why wasn’t she in the second half of the season? Maybe she can answer that.

Anyway, I later came across her on two other shows I watch (“In Plain Sight” and “Franklin and Bash”) and later a Vonage commercial. At that point, I started to recognize her face and I just had to find out who she was. A few clicks later at IMDB.com and I had a name.

Well, you guys know how I roll. I never follow mainstream people on Twitter. There’s no fun in being one of Serena Williams’ 2.3 million followers or anyone else who thirsts for social network admiration. So, I started following Sarayu and became one of her modest 412 followers. It’s kind of cool when you actually get replies to things you tweet to celebs. She’s not the “Hollywood type” or anything. No personal website (to my knowledge) and I’m not even sure if she even has a Facebook page. Just someone who has been fortunate enough to be a part of the Hollywood scene without all of the attitude and high maintenance. My type of person.

In fact, one of the things I love about being a blogger is seeing people who aren’t mainstream grow into something. Some of us will never be columnists or end up with a syndicated radio show, but there’s satisfaction is seeing someone go from 3 followers to 300 followers. Sarayu is not just some run-of-the-mill actress. She has an impressive resume that also includes “The Big Bang Theory,” “NCIS: Los Angeles,” “Sons of Tuscon” and more. Her dream of being on SNL is achievable, but like most of us who have found success in what we do, it sometimes takes a “foot in the door.” It’s time to take her mainstream, which is where you guys come in.

I want every single one of my followers to tweet this post.I also want all of you to tell your followers to RT this post. And so on and so on…
Let’s use the power of social networking to get SNL’s attention so that Sarayu can get her shot on the show. Once they take notice, she can do the rest. Why am I doing this? Two reasons: because I can and because how cool would it be to see someone get an opportunity at a dream knowing that you helped? I know my followers are loyal people who have the interest of others at heart. You wouldn’t be a follower of mine if you didn’t.

Learn the name and the face because you will see her again on your HDTV.

So, what do you say? Can we send Sarayu to SNL? Let’s take her to mainstream.

So, followers… are we going to make this photo a reality or what?


I don’t know if she got that burger or not, but you can help with the SNL!


Revoke Your Black License

(blog post from ThankQ.me)

I was instant messaging a co-worker of mine who resides in Richmond, VA. She’s a football fan and we’re talking NFL when the subject of other sports came up. I mentioned that I liked the NBA and NCAA basketball, but that I’d really enjoyed the NHL this past season.

There was a long pause in a response to my message and then she replied, “What?”

“NHL. Hockey. Football on ice”, I replied.

Then I saw a series of “LOL’s” all across my screen. She was laughing at me.

“How can a black man from the south enjoy hockey?”

“Uh, I just do. It’s an exciting sport! And the presentation of the Stanley Cup is the greatest trophy presentation I’ve ever seen.”

“That’s it. I’m pulling your race card, Q. I’m going to revoke your black license.”

Wow. A black man can’t enjoy hockey? A person from the south isn’t allowed to ‘pimp the puck’? One day I decided to give hockey a chance back in ’93 and I’ve followed the New Jersey Devils ever since (I picked them since my alma mater’s mascot are Devils). Mix in the fact that we have a minor league hockey team in Biloxi and my interest grew even more.

In fact, The Mrs. and I (who was just a girlfriend at the time) attended Game 7 of the Kelly Cup and sat through double-OT (until 2 AM) until the Mississippi Seawolves hoisted the Cup after an awesome goal (I knew at that point that she was marriage material if she was willing to sit through four hours of hockey with me).

Well, needless to say, I didn’t share the fact that I’ve attended a NASCAR race at Talledega on three separate occasions. My co-worker might have orchestrated a racial intervention at that point.

But, the bottom line is: I love sports. If there’s a ball involved or someone being timed, I’ll probably watch it. In fact, I think it’s sad that some people consider some sports a “white” or “black” sport simply based on stereotypes.

Basketball and Track & Field have always been considered “black” sports, the PGA, NHL, Tennis and NASCAR have always been considered “white” sports.

Does that mean I’m not allowed to view a sport “outside of my race” without getting my “black license” revoked? Of course not.

People need to be more open-minded when it comes to sports, music and movies. Black people need to stop hating on every white rapper that comes along and white people need to put more black people in lead roles on prime time TV.

And so on and so on. Let’s get past this crap already.

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Keeping Up With The Idiots (On TV)

(blog post from ThankQ.me)
I hate reality shows. I hate them like Lindsay Lohan hates rehab. Yet, I’m not only surrounded by reality shows, but I’m also surrounded by people who watch them.

Now, I will admit that I watched some reality shows back in the day when they were new. Years before they littered my TV guide on my DirecTV receiver. I watched “Real World: Hawaii” and wondered how in the world someone like Ruthie Alcaide (I wonder if she’s related to Tiger) would ever live to the age of 30 at the rate she partied.

I watched Richard Hatch walk naked on an island and win a million dollars on the first “Survivor” and fail to report it for tax purposes later. I also watched Reuben Studdard win the second season of “American Idol” after the show changed the rules and allowed Clay Aiken to return after being eliminated.

So, I can honestly say that “I’ve tried”. But no more. I can’t bare to watch a season of anything deemed as a “reality show” other than “Cops”. Because it didn’t take me long at all to realize that they’re far from real.

Now, back in the “Real World” days, reality shows felt real. The show was designed to take several young and volatile people and put them in close quarters. It’s only natural, like lab rats, that something was going to “pop off” as Tanisha from “The Bad Girls Club” once yelled. It wasn’t truly a “real life” situation, but the reactions to what was going on seemed genuine.

Today, things are a little different. The attitudes and confrontations aren’t always (if ever) even slightly real. They’re scripted. Manufactured just like the weave that all of the “Flava of Love” women wear.

Because of this, people now go on “A.I.” and sing as horribly as they possibly can in an attempt to earn themselves 15 minutes of fame. Did Larry Platt really think that singing “Pants on the Ground” would get him to Hollywood? And why did “A.I.” let a 60-something year old even participate on a show with an age limit? Because it was entertaining and that’s all that matters. FOX doesn’t care if the show comes off as real or not. They only want people to watch it and discuss it at work tomorrow.

That’s why broadcasters use a new math when it comes to creating shows:

Attitude equals ratings: Omarosa Manigault or Tiffany “New York” Pollard
Controversy equals ratings: Kim Kardashian or Ray J
Sex appeal equals ratings: Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino or Parvati Shallow
Acting a fool equals ratings: Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi or (insert Real Housewife here)

The bottom line is: it doesn’t have to be real for us to watch it. We watch it because it makes us feel better about ourselves. We watch it because we love to see other people with problems. Or, if you’re like me, you watch “The Soup” for comedic effect.

But, what about the people who can’t seem to separate entertainment from the real world? What about the people who clutter their bodies with tattoos because of what they see in a music video? What about the women who pose pigeon-toed/or do the peace sign and pouty lips in every Facebook photo because they saw it on TV first?

My parents taught me at an early age that TV wasn’t real. I remember the day I found out wrestling was fake. I think I was about seven years old. It changed my perspective on it which eventually led to me to not watch it on a weekly basis as I once did. Sure, I can still watch a few minutes of it now and then because the sheer athleticism that some of those wrestlers have are amazing. But you won’t see it in the Series Manager of my DVR. But, when I’m flipping channels and catch a glimpse of WWE, I see an arena filled with paying fans. All of them screaming for what a majority realize is fake. It makes me sit back and put things in perspective a bit. Why are they actively participating in something that everyone knows isn’t real? Then it dawns on me:

One purpose of TV is to entertain, right? To take you away from your life and allow you to peek in on someone else’s. Have I’ve forgotten that? Am I so cynical now that I can’t even enjoy watching TV?

Maybe reality shows aren’t just a cheap way for broadcasters to fill their time slots. And I do mean “cheap”! Snooki, one of the higher paid reality stars gets $30,000 per episode for “Jersey Shore” while Charlie Sheen, a real actor, once raked in $1.8 million per episode for “Two and A Half Men”. I guess if I owned a TV station and had a choice at those rates, I’d fill my line-up with reality shows, too!

Maybe I’m reading too much into the fact that reality shows are exploding on VH1 and MTV where my music videos used to reside. I guess as long as you’re entertained, who cares if the show is real or not?

Give your opinion here or comment below!